Do you really love someone or is it just dependancy

"Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other." - Scott Peck

I was watching a movie yesterday - Dhoop. I will not get into the story as such, but one scene from the movie reminded me of so many similar ones from other movies and may be from real life (media) as well. 'Rohit' is engaged to 'Pihu' and he dies in a war. Her parents want her to get married to someone else. And she tells them she is Rohit's widow and will never get married again.

I don't understand what message they are trying to convey. Mourning is needed. But not at the cost of your own life. Does your life end because someone died? Didn't God give you a life believing you as an individual? Did (S)He have any intentions of seeing you grow as a dependant on someone else and end your life when theirs ends? Why don't people show how to "live" a life? 

I like what Scott Peck says in his 'The Road less travelled' to a woman who wants to die because her husband has died - "what you describe is parasitism, not love. When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom in your realtionship. It is a matter of necessity than love. " 

Why do our movies highlight "sacrificing" one's life for someone else as something noble? Can't people take care of their own lives? Why don't we think of "educating" our own on how to lead their lives rather than making them our dependants? Yes, you need to support your family, but again, isn't it necessary to draw a line somewhere so as to make them independant? Seems like these movies show it as a pleasurable experience to sacrifice yourself for someone else.

Well, I am sure most of you may not agree with this, but I hope one day you realize the value in it and educate your kids the value of "life".