What is violence?

"Violence is not merely killing another. It is violence when we use a sharp word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is fear. So violence isn't merely organized butchery in the name of God, in the name of society or country. Violence is much more subtle, much deeper, and we are inquiring into the very depths of violence.

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence.

So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind."

మన నాలుక మీద సరస్వతి దేవి వుంటదంటారు. పరుషంగా ఒక మాట అనేటప్పుడు అది గుర్తు తెచ్చుకుంటే అనమేమో. కాని కోపం, బాధలో వున్నప్పుడు అది గుర్తు రావటం కూడ కష్టమేమో?

లేదా ఇంకొకరి గురించి చెడుగా మాట్లాడేటప్పుడు గాని ఇది గుర్తువస్తే బానే వుంటది. కాని మనల్ని ఎవరన్నా బాధ పెడితే వారి గురించి ఏమీ అనకుండా వుండగలగటం గొప్ప విషయమే. కాని ఉండగలమా? మరి మానసిక శాస్త్రవేత్తలు మనసులో వున్నది కక్కితే మంచిది అంటారు. ఆ కక్కటంలో మనల్ని బాధపెట్టిన వాళ్ళని ఏమీ అనకుండా బాధ వెళ్ళబుచ్చటం కష్టమేమో?

**Inspired by JK

Life is pain, joy...

"Life is pain, joy, beauty, ugliness, love and when we undersand it as a whole, at every level, that understanding creates its own technique."

This is so true. But we do not wish to see the ugliness, we do not like to go through pain. How can we enjoy life to the fullest if we do not have a combination of all these? If we don't "discover" life, what is the purpose of life itself.

All our education focuses on training us to conform to a system. Whereas it should bring about an integrated individual who is capable of dealing with life as a whole. If we are just implanting existing values into the mind of a child to make him conform to ideals, how can he awaken his intelligence? Why not educate a child without imposing an ideal of what "we" think should be.

Think about this. If your child lies, what is the use of telling him the ideal of truth. Why not observe him and find out "why" he is telling lies. Instead of forcing the child to tell truth, understand him.

** Inspired by JK

Why can't we adopt?

When I was 18 I read an article in Society magazine where a Delhi based couple adopted a 8 year old boy in spite of having 2 children of their own - a boy and a girl. That actually opened my eyes as until then I was under the impression that you adopt only if you don't have any children. I guess that came from all the Raja, Maharaja stories I read as a child. I liked it so much that since then I wanted to adopt a child and also wondered how beautiful it would be if everyone could do the same. But then, as time passed, I realized that it's not that easy for many.

Someone I knew said, how can we bring them home without knowing where and to whom they were born. I was shocked that she could make such a statement about a child. I knew a lady who loves kids - 'her' kids. People always talk about her being the ideal mother who loves and cares a lot about her children and was willing to sacrifice her career for them. Well, that's noble - though I believe most of the mothers are like her. But listening to her comments (made to me in confidence) - "look at that girl's eyes, they are weird" or "this girl will be a short one just like her dad" etc etc shocks me. If this is what you comment about your friends' kids, how can you be a good mother. Would you be comfortable leaving your children in her care for an evening? I don't think I can. Of course, most of us are not like her.

One lady said how can I raise a child born to someone else. Is it really that hard to love "kids"? Can't we love them unless we give birth to them?

At the same time, like a a breath of fresh air, a dear friend of mine is open for adoption. Of course she couldn't due to family pressures. Some times it becomes hard to say "I don't care" about their feelings - for whatever reason. By the time you come out of that state, sometimes it might be a bit late too.

I also noticed that usually in our country people adopt only when they know for sure they cannot have their own. They try every possible way to conceive and adoption is the last option. But here, people adopt even if they have their own. A colleague of mine has 9 children out of which 5 are adopted. God bless him.

Why can't we? Are we really like those filmy characters who ill treat the child once they have their own? If only each one of us can adopt a child - just imagine how this world will be. No more orphans. It will be a better place to live for everyone.