Why don't we live?

Why are we so concerned about death and not living? Why are we dying and not living? Old people are near the grave and young ones are not far behind.

Do you think a bird lives in fear of dying? No. It is too much occupied with living, with catching insects, building a nest, singing a song, flying for the very joy of flying. Watch a bird flying endlessly enjoying the wind. They seem to enjoy themselves. Then why are we so preoccoupied with death?

Because we are afraid to lose the known, the things we gathered. We are afraid to lose a spouse, a child, a friend, we are afraid to lose what we have learnt, accumulated. If only we can carry all those with us beyond death, we are not afraid right?

But death is an ending and most of us are unwilling to face this fact.

If only we can live moment to moment and concerned about the future. If only we can live without the thought of tomorrow, let go the whole process of known, you will find that an astonishing thing takes place. Just go with the flow and enjoy your life.

Try it for a day. Don't carry your worries from day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment. Let them all go and you will see that out of all this comes an extraordinary life that includes both living and dying.

** Inspired by JK

My life after - x years.

It might sound crazy to some of you. But this is what I want to do in few years time.

I want to go back to India, build a small house in a village. Why a small house? I think we should only have what we need. My house will be very eco-friendly. It will be made of mud and straws. No refrigerator for sure.

I hope my back will be ok at that time. I want to sleep on Nulaka mancham (http://chitraalu.wordpress.com/2009/03/20/ఇది-వెయ్యకుండా-వుండలేకపో/).

Grow my own vegetables. Of course has to be organic farming. Spread the word about environment, organic farming etc to my neighbors.

I just cannot wait for that experience. I have asked my brother to recreate this in the next couple of years on his farm so that I can enjoy it during my visits to India.

When I was a kid, we would go to my aunt’s place near Bhadrachalam. Those were one of the best days. The village is Charla. Lots of flowers, fruits. I would decorate my hair with every possible flower I can find. My grandmother would braid my hair with these. There were custard apple trees, mango trees (banginapalli), amla, sapota, oranges etc etc. So no matter what season you go, you will have something to enjoy. It was such an amazing place. We would go to the farms and bring home chilies, onions, and others. Watching the fields spread with red chilies is something you have to see for yourself.

Well, once it’s ready, you are more than welcome to come to my place J. I am very sure you will enjoy it.

Life is like a roller-coaster, never lose hope

I always believed 'Life is like a river'. You encounter some rocks, you pass them and you have these waves, but you never stop.

Well, I guess personal experiences make you realize the importance of 'moving on' with your life. Karambir believes 'Life is like a roller-coaster, never lose hope'. Wanted to share this inspiring story.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Lifes-a-roller-coaster-never-lose-hope/articleshow/5224672.cms

God always had better plans for me

"Why does this happen to me?" Have you ever thought that way? Well, some of you are really lucky to not have to ever think that way in your life. But some are not. If you are lucky, may be you don't have to read this.

I was just watching Hrithik Roshan's interview who overcame his problems of stuttering and scoliosis and went on to become a successful actor. His statement that I liked a lot - "I did not become an actor in spite of my problems. I became an actor because of my problems. I believe all the people who are going through a handicap or some problem - there is a reason for that. God is preparing them for something big.".

Well, I always believed this. Some people might not think it's fair to face the tough situations they faced in life while others are happily enjoying their lives with so called routine issues (well, what is routine and what is not, is another discussion as it depends on the perception). But then, as long as you can enjoy the ride and see what good came out of it to make you a better person to bring better things in your life, may be you will see that it's not bad after all.

Experience your life and enjoy it no matter what. Respect your past no matter what it is. It is yours after all. Remember, God always has better plans for you. If you don't believe in God, you can interpret anyway you wish, but enjoy your life the way it comes.

Do you really love someone or is it just dependancy

"Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other." - Scott Peck

I was watching a movie yesterday - Dhoop. I will not get into the story as such, but one scene from the movie reminded me of so many similar ones from other movies and may be from real life (media) as well. 'Rohit' is engaged to 'Pihu' and he dies in a war. Her parents want her to get married to someone else. And she tells them she is Rohit's widow and will never get married again.

I don't understand what message they are trying to convey. Mourning is needed. But not at the cost of your own life. Does your life end because someone died? Didn't God give you a life believing you as an individual? Did (S)He have any intentions of seeing you grow as a dependant on someone else and end your life when theirs ends? Why don't people show how to "live" a life? 

I like what Scott Peck says in his 'The Road less travelled' to a woman who wants to die because her husband has died - "what you describe is parasitism, not love. When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom in your realtionship. It is a matter of necessity than love. " 

Why do our movies highlight "sacrificing" one's life for someone else as something noble? Can't people take care of their own lives? Why don't we think of "educating" our own on how to lead their lives rather than making them our dependants? Yes, you need to support your family, but again, isn't it necessary to draw a line somewhere so as to make them independant? Seems like these movies show it as a pleasurable experience to sacrifice yourself for someone else.

Well, I am sure most of you may not agree with this, but I hope one day you realize the value in it and educate your kids the value of "life".

Have you been in love?

Do you remember in your early relationship with your lovers/spouses, how your hearts raced when you suddenly heard their voices on the phone. How you had butterflies in your stomachs when you prepared to meet them?

One of the most intriguing emotions in the spectrum of joy is Love. While we get more poetic about it, you can dissect it with science. There are 3 distinctly different physiological and emotional categories of love - lust, attraction and attachment - and biologically, they all relate to ancient drive to mate and evolved with different purpose.

Lust evolved to get you out looking (associated primarily with estrogen and androgens).

Attraction evolved to make you focus and expend your energy on one specific individual (associated with elation and craving for emotional union linked to likes of serotonin).

Attachment evolved so you would stay with that individual and raise offspring once mating was accomplished.

Well, something new to learn.

** Inspired by John J Ratey

Life is like a river

Have you noticed the lapping of a river, sound of the current? There is always a sense of extraordinary movement. But the little pool that is away from a swift tide is stagnant. This is how we barricade ourselves with our families, cultures, views etc. letting life go by that is constantly changing with extraordinary vitality and beauty.

But you see, life is not permanent. We are into spring now. We have seen all these trees naked with no leaves waiting for spring. Now we will see the trees filled with the music of leaves, which in due season fall off again and that is the way of life.

But we humans don't want that. We cling to our traditions, society, name, little virtues because we want permanency. We are afraid to lose the things we know. We want everything that gives us satisfaction to be permanent. We refuse to accept life as it is in fact.

The fact is that life is like a river, endlessly moving on, ever seeking, exploring, pushing, overflowing it's banks, penetrating every crevice with it's water. Let your mind flow. It will restrict you with a wall of insecurity, tradition, ancestral social theories. Don't let it.

Flow everyone.

** Inspired by JK

What is violence?

"Violence is not merely killing another. It is violence when we use a sharp word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when we obey because there is fear. So violence isn't merely organized butchery in the name of God, in the name of society or country. Violence is much more subtle, much deeper, and we are inquiring into the very depths of violence.

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence.

So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind."

మన నాలుక మీద సరస్వతి దేవి వుంటదంటారు. పరుషంగా ఒక మాట అనేటప్పుడు అది గుర్తు తెచ్చుకుంటే అనమేమో. కాని కోపం, బాధలో వున్నప్పుడు అది గుర్తు రావటం కూడ కష్టమేమో?

లేదా ఇంకొకరి గురించి చెడుగా మాట్లాడేటప్పుడు గాని ఇది గుర్తువస్తే బానే వుంటది. కాని మనల్ని ఎవరన్నా బాధ పెడితే వారి గురించి ఏమీ అనకుండా వుండగలగటం గొప్ప విషయమే. కాని ఉండగలమా? మరి మానసిక శాస్త్రవేత్తలు మనసులో వున్నది కక్కితే మంచిది అంటారు. ఆ కక్కటంలో మనల్ని బాధపెట్టిన వాళ్ళని ఏమీ అనకుండా బాధ వెళ్ళబుచ్చటం కష్టమేమో?

**Inspired by JK

Life is pain, joy...

"Life is pain, joy, beauty, ugliness, love and when we undersand it as a whole, at every level, that understanding creates its own technique."

This is so true. But we do not wish to see the ugliness, we do not like to go through pain. How can we enjoy life to the fullest if we do not have a combination of all these? If we don't "discover" life, what is the purpose of life itself.

All our education focuses on training us to conform to a system. Whereas it should bring about an integrated individual who is capable of dealing with life as a whole. If we are just implanting existing values into the mind of a child to make him conform to ideals, how can he awaken his intelligence? Why not educate a child without imposing an ideal of what "we" think should be.

Think about this. If your child lies, what is the use of telling him the ideal of truth. Why not observe him and find out "why" he is telling lies. Instead of forcing the child to tell truth, understand him.

** Inspired by JK

Why can't we adopt?

When I was 18 I read an article in Society magazine where a Delhi based couple adopted a 8 year old boy in spite of having 2 children of their own - a boy and a girl. That actually opened my eyes as until then I was under the impression that you adopt only if you don't have any children. I guess that came from all the Raja, Maharaja stories I read as a child. I liked it so much that since then I wanted to adopt a child and also wondered how beautiful it would be if everyone could do the same. But then, as time passed, I realized that it's not that easy for many.

Someone I knew said, how can we bring them home without knowing where and to whom they were born. I was shocked that she could make such a statement about a child. I knew a lady who loves kids - 'her' kids. People always talk about her being the ideal mother who loves and cares a lot about her children and was willing to sacrifice her career for them. Well, that's noble - though I believe most of the mothers are like her. But listening to her comments (made to me in confidence) - "look at that girl's eyes, they are weird" or "this girl will be a short one just like her dad" etc etc shocks me. If this is what you comment about your friends' kids, how can you be a good mother. Would you be comfortable leaving your children in her care for an evening? I don't think I can. Of course, most of us are not like her.

One lady said how can I raise a child born to someone else. Is it really that hard to love "kids"? Can't we love them unless we give birth to them?

At the same time, like a a breath of fresh air, a dear friend of mine is open for adoption. Of course she couldn't due to family pressures. Some times it becomes hard to say "I don't care" about their feelings - for whatever reason. By the time you come out of that state, sometimes it might be a bit late too.

I also noticed that usually in our country people adopt only when they know for sure they cannot have their own. They try every possible way to conceive and adoption is the last option. But here, people adopt even if they have their own. A colleague of mine has 9 children out of which 5 are adopted. God bless him.

Why can't we? Are we really like those filmy characters who ill treat the child once they have their own? If only each one of us can adopt a child - just imagine how this world will be. No more orphans. It will be a better place to live for everyone.